Friday, June 24, 2005

i must admit, i have dreams.  i have dreams that i try to brush off most of the time because i'm reminded that with our relationship, there's no such thing as 'plans' or 'tomorrows' or 'preparations'.  first and foremost, i had a self-imposed rule of "no expectations".

but i still find myself dreaming we're honeymooning in Bali, food tripping in Singapore, or trekking the Banawe fields.  truth is, just about anything or anywhere, as long as i can hold your hand in public.  then reality will strike like a lightning, will crash like the waves of the ocean, will whip me like a strong wind, and leave me weary and exhausted.  who am i kidding?  there's no space for such dreams with our setup.  what setup?  we don't even want to set anything.  i'm supposed to live it a day at a time, cherish each moment as they come.  no tomorrows.

and after each fall, i get up and find myself bruised, but stronger.  at least, i want to believe that. 

instead of sulking and feeling sorry for myself, i vowed to make the most of what i have.  what is there to lose if i dream?  a damaged pride, a broken heart, a wounded vision?  then i got nothing to lose here! 

i once read, "Impossible is not a declaration.  It is a dare."  and i'm taking the challenge.  i already took humongous risks when i loved you, why will i turn my back on things that has great potentials on making me happy?  what can possible happen if my dreams don't come true?  i'll end up crying?  i won't die from crying.  besides, i think i've put up with harder and tougher things with us.  and like i always say, "tears are such a small price to pay for a chance to be happy."

i do believe that promises are meant to be kept, that dreams are meant to be pursued.  they're not forsaken to be unattainable, but are cherished to motivate us to strive to be the best that we can be.  it keeps my spirit thriving, keeps my soul afloat.

but i will not live my days just dreaming but instead, i will live up to my dreams.  and i hope i'll find you there.

Posted at 05:04 pm by ysabel112


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